Thursday, September 16, 2010

Obstacles on the Path of Passion


Today was a hard day.
You see, choosing to be a Naturopathic Doctor has been a path of passion.
Previous to my returning to school, I've lived a few different lives: the Yukon, Trinidad, an Ashram in India, corporate Toronto; all of these lives have encouraged my desire to help people and my want to add a little more love to the world.
Often after hearing of my many pasts, I am admired for going back to school at such a late age to start a new career, "a career with meaning". This admiration generally evokes a sense of empowerment and pride in me at the life that I have chosen.

It's only on mornings like this, after being out of the country for a month (earning NO income), and opening a newly received bill to find that my bank has "restructured" my student LOC payments and lovingly requests that I cough up an extra LOT of money for September 30th, that I question my path.

You see, I am not a rich lady. In fact, I have worked my hands to the bone to achieve the little that I have. I would be lying if I tried to convince you that financial demands that extend my limited means to the point of fraying make me stronger. They don't initially .. I often break down in sobs, seriously ask myself whether I am too old to sell my body for a reasonable amount of street cash and wonder if the bank would find me in Tahiti.

After the breakdown this morning, I made some espresso and thought about declaring bankruptcy. Deciding that this is probably best avoided, I resigned myself to the fact that I may not eat for the next few months (or years).

I have noticed in my limited experience that, when faced with challenge, the universe often brings you the reassurance that you need: little, sutble messages that tell you that you really are on the right path. Unpacking my handbag this evening revealed a small jewelery box; the delicate home of a beautiful, handmade broach given to me by a woman as a token of appreciation for the depth in which I've helped her. Payment for actions we preform in life come from more than just money: it comes from experiencing someone else's successes, it comes from sharing love, indulging in laughter, tasting good cheese and finding comfort in perfect espresso. It comes from knowing that sometimes your smallest effort effects positive change in the life of another. Its about knowing, with conviction, that you may not be able to eat out ever again, but you do have the power to add love to the world.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Addicted to Bliss


The market in my neighbourhood happens on Tuesdays from 3pm-7pm. I often miss the opportunity to shop there due to my office schedule. This Tuesday was a different story however.
Being in Europe for a month reinforced all my blissful addictions: cycling, good espresso, chocolate and completely non-naturopathic gluten-rich fresh breads! The market in Cabbagetown is much like being in Europe. The beautiful, baked goods, the rich, dark chocolate pucks, the aroma of freshly roasted java blends and even the occasional cute cycling boy all tickle my urge to indulge!

Lately, my self-talk has been going something like this, "Oh Gail, you've only been back for a week .. you NEED another espresso simply to get you over the jetlag! "Jumping back into a strict naturopathic regime seems a little extreme at this point, doesn't it"?! "Maybe we can just coast on chocolate until Christmas and adopt a few resolutions for 2011"!

Walking around, salivating, fighting with my own mind and listening to the sweet whispers of chocolate on the wind, carassing my ears, resulted in this: "there must be SOMETHING I can do with chocolate pucks that will justify their ingestion"?!

Chatting with the chocolate monger led to a wink, a smile or two and a big, stuffed bag of raw chocolate in my arms! A few minutes walk home, a 20-30 minutes of prep led to this:

Raw Chocolate Balls

2/3 cup steal cut oats, finely chopped
3-4 tbsp of chopped walnuts
1 tbsp of chia seed, ground
3 tbsp pitted dates
3-4 tbsp water
1-2 ounces of raw chocolate chopped into small pieces

Mix all the above, dry ingredients (excluding the chocolate chunks). Heat the pitted dates in a saucepan with the 3-4tbsp of water (to soften). Blend the dates with a hand blender until smooth. Let cool for 5 minutes and mix into dry ingredients. Blend the raw chocolate into the mixture and shape into balls. Let set in the fridge for 30 minutes. Enjoy! **If you would like a LITTLE more sweetness, add a tbsp of maple syrup**

This is the thing: indulgence doesn't have to be sinful!

Most chocolate is roasted during processing before being made into bars to expand the complexity of its flavour. There are many healthy and naturally occuring oils in chocolate. Roasting, however, potentially denatures these oils and causes their rancidity. The chocolate chosen from the market is raw (not roasted) and combined with ground hemp and agave nectar, to cut the bitterness. The ground hemp adds a little protein and fiber to the mix, the agave cuts the bitterness of the raw chocolate and the chocolate itself, provides a ton of antioxidants and healthy fat (check out http://chocosol.posterous.com/).

The ingredients in Raw Chocolate Balls provide healthy fibers called lignans which assist in keeping cholesterol in check (in the steal cut oats and chia), magnesium (in walnuts) to assist in energy production, sleep and muscle soreness and fatigue and natural sugar (fructose from the dates).

It's now Wednesday: I am still addicted to my chocolate bliss. However, I would like to inform you all, despite the battle in my head, it is my second day without espresso! Let's see how long THAT lasts! :)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Family Affair


My brother and I are different people: he is a hard-working, successful, relatively conservative individual who is one of the most intelligent people I know. I, on the other hand, am a little more free-spirited, live to love, enjoy work but also like to play and .. well, I would need to combine four Gail's, with different knowledge bases, to give my brother a run for his money intellectually.
Although I am proud of my brother and his accomplishments, there was a time when his many successes completely invalidated me. This, my friends, is one of the reasons why signing up for the Ride for Karen every year brings me joy. My brother has become notorious for doing a few rides on the trainer and a couple 20-30 minute rides outside before embarking on the hilly, 160km ride that honours Karen Tobias and her battle with cancer. The process usually includes my brother suffering, me bearing witness to his suffering and gaining a single, proud moment when he needs my help (for a change) at which time, I provide a draft. (In cycling, this is when one rider rides ahead of another to break the wind. It can decrease the following riders workload by up to 30%)! An additional proud moment is often achieved when we run into high school friends of my brother at the rest stop and they refer to his needing help from his little sister to get him through the ride (part of me cringes at how this must make his ears bleed while the other part of me experiences this unique sense of absolute GLEE)!

The Ride for Karen is a family affair in every sense of the word from my sibling rivalry that finally finds fair ground, to the relationship that Kirk and Kris Tobias share that has enabled such a successful and meaningful event. The 160km of riding, in sometimes rain, sometimes cold and rarely sun, has raised over $1,300,000.00 in the last eight years which has gone towards improving the cancer care facilities at Sunnybrook hospital and sent numerous children with cancer to summer camp.

In addition, this ride also gives individuals an opportunity to find purpose in their athletic endeavours. Many people on the ride have experienced cancer in some capacity: through their own cancer experience or one of a friend or loved one. This event attracts a group of riders that seem to pour their heart and soul into the ride for the purpose of supporting others. The passion extends beyond the day of the ride: as friends, we all gather the afternoon before the ride to make over 500 sandwich wraps to fuel the riders the next day. Positive energy comes together to create a movement that supports a growing need.

This blog entry is an opportunity to encourage all you casual and avid cyclists to check out the ride for Karen: www.rideforKaren.com. The three different distances allow every cyclist to participate. All you need is a bike! :)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

10.5% ..yahoo!


One word: redemption. Who knew that a girl could redeem herself on one of the hardest climbs of the Tour de France?

Much has transpired: after death on the Alps, I rented a car and headed down to the south of France. My intention was to spend my days drinking wine, eating good food and exploring all the beauty that Provence and the Luberon have to offer.

Its interesting to note the difference in climates between the Alps and the south-central part of France. The dry mountain air of the Alps and the weather systems that roll in in a moments notice often result in rides that begin sunny and end cold and wet (or vice versa)! The Luberon is also dry but, contrary to the Alps, it is consistently hot and windy, much like a desert. Both environments offer their own challenges when it comes to cycling any distance.

I made my way to the famed Chateauneuf du Papes region of France. Despite what many people think, this is a wine-producing region and not a single winery. As a result, the options for tasting wines from many different producers was endless. The way it works in France is that you can either go to the winery itself or you can go into Chateauneuf du Papes (which is a town) and go to a place de degustation (a place for tasting). Because the town was so beautiful, I chose the latter. I found myself across from a woman who,while speaking broken english (as I attempted french), pulled out bottle after bottle of wine for me to taste. Apparently, lighter wines are best tasted first (white, rose and reds with less tannins) so the palate is not obscured. After these, then the richer wines come into play: the deeper, full-bodied reds. The experience was exceptional! The wine is better than any that I've tried and comes at a much more reasonable price than anything imported to Canada.

I couldn't stay too long though for fear of getting completely annilated and not being able to drive! So after a quick bite to eat, I headed off the the chocolate factory for a tour of continued indulgence. By the time I had my fill of rich, dark chocolate it was late in the day .. just enough time of daylight left to drive up Mt Ventoux and then back to Fontaine de Vaucluse (to my hotel). At this point, I honestly thought that having spent a week climbing in the Alps, the drive up to the top of Ventoux would be enough to satisfy my curiosity about the mountain so I could let go of the thought of climbing it on my bike until my next visit to France. It was quite the contrary: I began looking at the km markers on the side of the road that indicate what km of the mountain you have reached. I began evaluating the grade % and thinking about how my legs would feel at various parts of each km. Then something else happened. Something that happens to every athlete: there was a nervousness in my stomach, an anxious yearning to be on my bike, the need to get to the top driven by strength, perseverence and will instead of gasoline! And so, the decision was made: I was coming back the next day to climb Mt Ventoux on the bike.

The thing about Mt Ventoux is that the last 3-4km is completely exposed to the elements. At one point this mountain was covered in trees only to be clear cut. Unfortunately, because the soil has dried and eroded so dramatically, this mountain will never successfully be replanted. What this means for cyclists is that, after you've already ridden 18km up steep inclines, you are faced with the last 3-4km of insane sun and wind that whistles across the top of the mountain like a hurricane (I could not get out of my car at the top the evening before for fear of being blown away)!

To the day of the climb: you know those days where everything just comes together? You've eaten well the night before, are well hydrated, the legs are rested, you've sleep long and deep and you wake up ready for the challenge ahead? This is how I started my climb up Mt Ventoux.

I will not lie to you: Mt Ventoux is probably the hardest climb that I have done. The wind at the top is insane, the gradient of the climb is steep (11%) .. hence my celebration at the km marker that indicated 10.5%. It is amazing how much easier 0.5% can feel! In addition, climbing alone brings with it an entirely different experience: you are forced to dig deep within yourself and find the strength and drive to keep going. There is a satisfaction that comes with this that is difficult to describe. I talked to a few guys enduring the same pain - a couple of which I passed and one of which passed me - it was nice to know that we were all up there suffering it out. The top was the most incredible: happy, tired people (all men, not a woman is sight!) that were all smiling and taking photos. My legs at the end of it were tired, but I didn't crack like I did on the Madeleine. There was a beauty in the experience, a patience with the process of simply one pedal stroke at a time and a personal power obtained with the last few hundred meters to the top. Mt Ventoux has taught me why people love climbing mountains so much: it is a spiritual journey with one of the greatest rewards.. standing at the top of the world and almost touching the heavens.

I am back in the Netherlands now .. back to flat, windy riding. The mountains have changed me - like they have changed every rider that I know that has ever climbed them. Suffering aside, I miss the journey and look forward to the day that I can return.

I will leave you all with these words of climbing wisdom given to me from Steve: when climbing a mountain on your bike, leave your tires a little flatter(10-15psi less). Air expands with altitude and the tires will get firmer as you go up. On descents, be sure you don't break too much: this heats up your rims and may predispose you to a flat tire. And lastly, if you are a woman that rides a bike, get out to the mountains!! We need more women out there!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

keep pedalling!!

Bonjour toutes les amis ..
Let me begin by asking you to please excuse any typos in this entry (and future entries while I`m away). It should be against the law to change the position of the letters on a keyboard .. since when did Q become more important than A?! It is taking me forever to type anything so let me get on with things!!
First: without telling you the entire story (I will do that when I have a proper keyboard again), the Col de Madeleine was the craziest ride I have ever done. For those of you who do not know, this climb is epic: Cadel Evans (a pro tour de France rider) cracked on the Col de Madeleine ... now, what exactly do I mean by cracked? Well, let me tell you from my first hand experience with it!!
Steve and I started out the ride .. a little 5 to 7km warm up before the beginning of the climb. The climb itself is 28km .. that is long .. its an unpredictable climb too. Just when you think you have a handle on it, it gets really steep or throws you off. Because of its varying degrees of steepness, it is a climb that does not allow you to find a pedalling rhythm.
After a week of climbing insane mountains, my legs were tired, my body ached but the last thing I wanted was to be defeated by the Madeleine. This, my friends, was wishful thinking .. at km 20 with 8 more to go, I cracked: I started hyperventilating, tears streamed down my face, my bike halted and I thought "what the hell am I doing out here? how am I possibly going to finish this climb? Steve really IS trying to kill me"!!!
Steve and I had a chat. I am lucky in life to have friends that believe in me more than I believe in myself, push me to do things I would never dream of on my own and who would kill me before they would let me quit!
I started up again, after absolute defeat, and rode over all the painting from the tour: cheering for Livestrong, Schleck, etc and found myself in no time, drinking Orangina and eating fries with mayonnaise on the top of the world. The story continues but I will stop here for now and leave you all with this:
I complained to Steve about my bad day on the mountain to which he responded "you see, I don`t see it like that. Instead of thinking that you died on the Col de Madeleine, I like to think of it like: you got through 20 strong kms before she took you"!!
This morning when I was riding the undulating terraine of the Luberon and passing many men on the climbs the thought came back to me, "If I could only console those men; afterall, its not about a girl passing you, it is about celebrating the kms you have climbed before she does"! :)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Mountain Madness ...


How do I begin exactly .. well, let me first say that riding mountains is like nothing I have ever experienced before. I am in France; I've been here since Saturday night. Sunday involved the first mountain cycling experience of my life.

Training for mountain riding in the flat lands of Ontario is a challenging feat. As you can well imagine, embarking on my first mountain climb in the French Alps was a little intimidating.


Steve, my guide, put it like this, "We'll start with an easy day: descend down to Moutiers from the chalet, climb 9km to Montagny, desend into Bozel, loop back and climb Pralognan la Vanoise, a little 15km hill then we'll add 2.5km climb to Champagny, then descend down to Bozel again and climb the last 8km toward Courcheval as far as Le Praz and descend back to the chalet. Sound good? Its a little 84km ride to warm your legs up and get used to some hills".

Holy crap!! Let me clarify something for you all: this first warm-up ride was 34.5km of climbing!! It may not seem like a lot, however, I can honestly say that after this first ride I thought that I might not make it out of this week alive.


The second day was yet a greater push: 112km starting with a 20km, 1967 meter climb of the Cormet de Roselend (popular in the tour de France for Johan Bryneel's famous crash off the side of the mountain) then a ending with a 10km climb up to the chalet with 50km of riding in between!


By the third day I was pretty much done. Steve decided that my little legs could use a rest and signed me up for a 146km flattish, windy ride which headed conveniently into a rain storm! At this point, I was convinced that Steve planned this and was trying to kill me and sell my bike for a small profit.


Throughout this entire process, Steve continued to talk me through it repeatedly attempting to convince me that "by mid week, something generally happens to people: their bodies just seem to get adjusted to the climbing, the altitude, they find their rhythm and seem to just get used to the abuse". Words of encouragement with every pedal stroke and every puff of breath kept me going as Steve pedalled along side with ease. At one point he passed me a power shot (a little gummy thing filled with caffeine, sugar and electrolytes) .. I thanked him but couldn't even chew it because my breathing was so laboured!!


Today invited quite a different experience: after a night of tossing and turning due to waking with pain whenever changed positions in my bed, I made my way downstairs for breakfast. Every step down hurt and I wondered how I was possibly going to meet the next challenge. Steve and Anna greeted me with coffee and excitment.

"Why don't we climb up the Col de St. Bernard, a 28km (2188m) climb? The climb finishes in Italy; we can stop for espresso in Italy if you like?!" Now we're talking - this was the best idea Steve has had yet! The sun was shining, the weather was warm and I was going to Italy, IF my legs would get me there ..


We embarked on our ride, warming up with a 15km spin and then starting the climb. Something happened today: things seemed to come together and, miraculously, I found my legs, just as Steve said I would! It felt great: I was not puffing, held a nice steadish pace and thoroughly enjoyed the process, the scenery, the beautiful reward of reaching Italy, eating french fries and drinking Orangina!


I will not lie to you: simply touching my legs this evening induces a tender, painful sensation. I've decided to follow Steve's training advice, "if it hurts to touch them, stop touching them"!!


The run down of the last few days is as follows: I have climbed 6548 meters over 434km of riding in 4 days. Mount Everest stands at 8446 meters up which means I need to climb 1898 meters to reach the height of Mount Everest, a feat that is agreeably very do-able in the next two days.


Tomorrow presents another adventure: the Col de Madeleine, a steeper 1993m, 26km climb that is affectionately known as the Serpent of the Alps: a serpent that I am hoping (but am not likely) to tame!

Stay tuned ...





Friday, August 20, 2010

Taking a Trip to the Other Side of Stability


I ran into a friend of mine in my neighbourhood about a week before I left for Europe. Interestingly, I often attract this friend when my mind is in a fit of turmoil. On this particular morning I wondered how I was going to navigate this blog while I am on holidays. After all, my blog is supposed to give its readers some interesting naturopathic information in a fun and informative way. A colleague of mine suggested I push forward with the blog more than ever and throw myself into research, construct informative stories and come home with a sense of accomplishment. This was precisely my turmoil: how does one holiday while completely consumed by work?!

Meeting my friend on that particular morning led to discussing said issue. Barry politely responded in his very free-spirited, artistically inspired way:


"Well (dramatic pause) .. it seems to me that you have a dilemma: you're an over-worked individual who wants desperately to be on holidays but has a sense of obligation to what you're trying to create. I think that you should create a European segment of your blog that talks to the importance of taking holidays and completely shutting off"!!

It had exciting potential .. but where has this advice exactly led to while I've been away? As is obvious to all of you, I haven't exactly been devoting all (or any) of my time to the blog! This does not necessarily indicate, however, that my holiday thus far has been day upon day of relaxation!


Today my world began to unravel. First, my PIN number on my VISA has been blocked. This is a situation, according to VISA, that cannot be rectified from abroad so I am currently without the security of credit - a security that I could really use while spending a month in Europe!! Second, I was informed that the train I booked to France for my bicycle tour through the Alps will not allow me to travel with a bicycle! So, how exactly, am I going to RIDE up mountains?! Third, the aforementioned, 200 Euro train ticket was not refundable and mailing my bike was priced at 1800 Euro .. and since I do not have a functional VISA, I could not pay that even if I wanted to!!

The experience today reminded me all too much of the chaos I live back home. In the moments of absolute frustration, I dawned on me that even though I am not working like a crazy woman, I am still living the chaos that I am desperately trying to take a break from!


So .. before I head off to bed, let me tell you how this story resolves. First, I am still VISAless, however, VISA has agreed to send another chipless VISA to my France address so I will have it next week. I was able to purchase another train ticket for tomorrow so I will arrive in time to ride on Sunday. This train has 4 more transfers than the other and will take 15 hours instead of 6.5, BUT I will have my bike!! The non refundable ticket was in fact refunded in full because the travel agent felt so bad about `our stupid, Dutch rules`!!


There you have it .. my unraveling is beginning to ravel up again. Things in my world are slowly coming back together after a day of challenge. Now, instead of continuing my pattern of inviting chaos, I hope to settle into the nice, steady pace required when climbing a mountain on the bike!